There's a sacred calming sometimes in starting new rituals, like sitting with a new book of a favorite poet.
There's a thundering fear sometimes in starting new rituals, like a grey sky announcing a storm is on the horizon.
Usually this is where I get stuck:
Usually this is where I get stuck:
What if I don't make it? What if it doesn't work? What if once again I move onto something new?
The doubting begins.
Like loading the car up for a new adventure. I begin, unsure where the road will take me, unsure which routes are in need of a detour.. and in case you didn't know, I'm a bit directionally challenged.
It's as if my GPS has a weak wire, it isn't turning on and I'm left with only me and my intuition. I'm left with a decision to just go for it or turn around and head back towards the familiar.
Yet this time, I choose to leap fearlessly and hope that my wings form in the process of descending.
I've learned to be OK
with getting lost.
Yet this time, I choose to leap fearlessly and hope that my wings form in the process of descending.
I've learned to be OK
with getting lost.
This is scary. This. Learning to trust myself. This. Asking questions.
This living from the inside out.
I stretch my arms up to the sky,
asking nature to speak to me as I stand like a warrior.
It has begun.
Unsure where it will lead but doing it anyway.
I stretch my arms up to the sky,
asking nature to speak to me as I stand like a warrior.
It has begun.
Unsure where it will lead but doing it anyway.
I am throwing confetti and sprinkles to celebrate your beautiful bravery! you are a gift, so full of beauty, boldness and inspiration. i adore you!
ReplyDeleteFlinging silver glitter of Brave in the air with Shelby! I am so inspired by your syllables. ♥
ReplyDeleteP.S. {Unsure where it will lead but doing it anyway.} ... written in my journal.
This speaks right to my heart!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, this reminds me of:
ReplyDeletegetting lost in the woods with my sister,
because I'm directionally challenged too
and couldn't figure out the map.
And, getting lost on Long Island
while in first year of college;
seeing Ronkakoma three times,
we were going in circles, my friend & I -
I am so scared to be lost these days,
and your post here, Willow?
It makes me ask myself - WHY?
ENJOY IT!
Just read this again and "Yet this time, I choose to leap fearlessly and hope that my wings form in the process of descending." stuck out to me, and I just read another #SMS member post about leaping. also, i have a blog post in mind, "i can't raise my hands" - and your description of raising your hands like a warrior gives me more to ponder.
DeleteWandering over from Mandy's blog to say . . . me, too. Beginning the journey, not knowing where it leads. Let's walk together. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me smile with recognition. We live in a world (from school up) that expects us not only to know our final goals, but be able to plan out in incremental steps that journey. To say, "I don't know where I am going" is seen as failure. I see such a strength and honesty in your words. I don't think you're lost, it is just that you're not sure of where you are going and - to be honest - I am not sure that we are really meant to know! Life's an adventure - scary, but also, oh so filled with excitement and life and joy.
ReplyDeleteAs Tolkien once wrote, "Not all those who wander are lost."
Wow....I just wrote most of your words into my journal....this touch me deeply. I have lived so much of my life in this circle of knowing, doubting, knowing.....and now I KNOW that I never really knew anything at all. This new journey of mine is exactly that....MINE....I'm not walking the path that everyone else says I should be on....I am walking on MY path....and it is so amazing to meet people like you while walking this path!
ReplyDelete