Friday, August 10, 2012

This Is Me: A Grungy Whiteboard


Out on a date with myself.  #Introvert #recharging 

Last week I wrote about learning how to trust this thing called my heart/my intuition, it hasn't been easy.  Just today I found myself almost to tears because of a simple question.

What is your favorite color?  I know it sounds trivial but how does one not know what her favorite color is?  A chameleon has many colors.  This has been me.

The chameleon.

Liking this color one minute, calling it my favorite and then in the next, scribbling the whiteboard clean and picking up a new marker.  This is me, the grungy whiteboard with faint scribbles in the background, wiping quickly so that nobody sees the mistakes.

It's messy.

A friend reminds me that it's ok because there are no mistakes. 

 "There are no mistakes or failures, only tender lessons which are opportunities for gratitude ~ because sometimes it takes struggles and do-overs to know ok, this is what happens when I do not follow my soul. That's what it feels like, that's what it sounds like, so I'll know better next time."

So what does this grungy whiteboard tell me?  I may not know my favorite color but there are secrets slowly being revealed..

It whispers that:

~ Tattoo's are my favorite art.
~ Dangly earrings and bandannas make me feel at home in my gypsy soul
~ I'm not a painted nail person.  I've tried.  Different colors.  Just not me.  Love colored toenails!
~ I prefer simplicity.  Layers are not my friend.
~ Jeans and Skirts romance my soul like poetry.

~ Oh and Ariel is my favorite Disney Princess. :)


9 comments:

  1. this. post. just. makes. me. smile.~SO BIG!~

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  2. <3

    You know, it's ok to have a new favorite every minute if you need too. <3

    I am SO proud of you. You're brilliantly brave. Breathe deep and feel the moment. <3

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  3. I feel that ache of the chameleon soul - I struggled over the same question.
    Bless, but it is hard to live our{true}selves when we know better how to make others feel or see, than knowing how to know ourselves.
    Love your imagery of a dingy whiteboard - so accurate, it makes me laugh. And what do we have if we can't use laughter to help move us along?
    xo

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  4. i can so echo the chameleon. i've learned, though, that when the changing colors reflect the truth of your changing self rather than the colors of your surroundings (as mine did for so long... still do, if i'm not careful) then chameleon is a true color all its own.

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  5. Oh, I'm so touched by this. In some moments it's so hard to find ourselves.

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  6. i don't have a favourite colour either, or a favourite anything. and it has only been recently hat my chameleon soul no longer aches but feels whole and real and true. xo

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  7. I love what you are filling the page with. Your journey to unearth what is truly you inspires me to do the same. Keep writing! I want to keep reading...

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  8. Love this post.....I don't know my favorite color either.....mine changes often. This post speaks to me deeply.....I too have a chameleon soul that is on a journey of awakening.

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